Thursday, January 10, 2008

Ode To A Sewage Truck

My sewage tank is bloated. I haven't had a sewage truck stop by in 4 days. Because my sewage tank is full it means my water tank shuts down so I have been without water since Monday night. I keep 3 plastic containers of water in the fridge for emergency situations like this. Of course 6 liters of water doesn't go very far. My room mate and I have been reduced to taking our containers to the school in the morning in order to top up our meagre supply.

Some problems out at the water lake have meant the water trucks are unable to keep up with demand. I'm not sure why the sewage truck hasn't made an appearance lately. Apart from farmers, most Southerners likely have very little if any dealings with sewage trucks. Up here, however, they are powerful, omnipotent beings. Never poke fun at them for their odor no matter what. (They are very sensitive about this.) I think this may have been my faux pas. Perhaps I have offended ours in some way. If that's the case then I offer the following plea for forgiveness.

Oh great Adonis of steel and plastic,
how my heart aches for you
The last few days have been agony
now that you are gone
I eagerly await your return
Whenever I here a rumbling engine,
I rush with eager anticipation
over to my window,
hoping to catch sight of you.
Your parting has been such stinky sorrow.
If I have offended you in any way,
may my heart bleed a thousand bleeds.
I shall forever be in your debt upon your return
Would that I could tenderly wash your windows
and top up your oil if only you would bless me
with your presence.
You are greatly missed.
Please, please, please return to me
I beg of you.

ps - My washer, shower, toilet and sink of dirty dishes join
me in wishing for your speedy return.

UPDATE - My little ditty worked! The sewage truck returned. And what a glorious sight it was!


Kennie said...

and it doesn't help that when your trying to call to get the poop-tank emptied that the phone line is always busy (the after hours one) which it has been non-stop for the last two days. I think they just took the phone off of the hook so they wouldn't have to deal with all of the calls for water..... but there is no reason why sewage can't be running.

I guess it's a good thing that we can get water at school .... but it's getting hard to survive up here... were going to have to go try and dig an outhouse soon ;-)

Kara and Matt said...

hehe I will think of you when I get to Faro and am back on piped water and sewage!

And whenever that happens to us here, we just drive around on the skidoo until we find the truck and ask them to come! They are great and always just follow us home! But I think they like me cause I have baked cupcakes and banana bread for them in the past as a thank you from the college!

Jen said...

LOL! I have been having similar issues down here! Why haven't you entered this into my northern poetry contest! :) Hope your poop tank dreams get answered!

Kate Nova said...

THAT was a laugh-out-loud poetry post.

towniebastard said...

You know, there are times I read stuff like this and I genuinely do feel bad that we're on water and sewer here in Iqaluit. Not everyone is on it, but we are. So there is no worshipping of water and sewer trucks. I know, we have it easy.

Although the sewage line into Cathy's school froze yesterday (it was only -32. Why it didn't freeze at -57 I do not know) so she got part of yesterday and all of today off.

Rob & Tina said...

That is the best poem ever. Unfortunately there is something wrong with the shut off on our poop tank and when we are full we literally overflow. You only make that mistake once, trust me. :)

Anonymous said...


I am a engineering student in Ontario preparing a concept design for Engineers Without Boarders on a septic system for an Iqaluit home. Do you know where I could find some information on the Sewage trucks and how often they come to pump out the tanks. I understand the sewage tanks must have a electronic float device that automatically shuts off the water when the sewage tank is full. Anyways, I would very much appreciate it if someone would be willing to tell me about how life really is there. I want my design to be functually feasible for all Iqaluit people. Please e-mail me

Thanks so much for you time.

Joe Voisin